The trials and tribulations of the pursuit of the opposite sex has been quite an adventure for me.  It is said that there is perfect person out there,somewhere, for you and only you.  It sounds nice and dandy but what if that person never actually meets you? Sadly it happens all the time.  My recent infatuation with the opposite sex was a good year’s worth of experiences that included; paranoia, self-analyzation, drunkenness, and quite possibly a small hint of love (or so I think).  A few friends came along with me for the ride and assisted me though the ups and downs of the pursuit.  Yet with all of them so very different and disparate in their livelihoods, they all came up with the same response in my pursuit, “dude you got to let her go.”  It’s quite interesting to witness the psyche of a person that is absolutely “in love” with someone, they will not listen even to the best of their friends and will be fully adamant and persistent until the job is finished, which can end up a great situation, an awkward situation, and/or the “don’t ever talk to me” situation.  

I think I finished myself into the awkward situation, which has its good with its bad.  Good is that I can move on and just do the normal things in my life without having to think about that certain someone continuously. No more drunken nights telling your friends how bad you want her and need her.  No more of, is she thinking about me mentality.  You’re free, you’re single, go out and just live life!

The bad is that it feels like a REAL breakup, so much time was invested into trying to get that one person, in whom you think has every possible intangible characteristic you can ever want, to fall head over heals for you. Intangibles that include; drive, integrity, intelligence, loyalty, beauty, etc. But alas, you (I) must realize you didn’t actually date and you have to cut your losses and just move on. (Easier said than done) The persistant chase without positive results lead to a depressed state of mind, knowing you did all you could but still she can’t see the same vision as you.  Ultimately, the sting will last but only time can mitigate the hurt from within.  

I’ve learned that the infatuation must be mutual in order for a future, a one sided ordeal just leaves one person hurt…Me.  But with the many experiences of both love and heartbreak, it is another lesson learned in the pursuit of cracking the most impossible mystery on this planet: Women.

Michael Jordan is still one of the most recognizable, retired, athletes in the world.  MJ has been the pinnacle of success in the basketball arena and as well as the business world.  I’ve looked up to this man with great deference throughout my entire life.  I’ve tried to emulate his final second shots, with no success, and even bought his ridiculously priced sneakers for years that claimed you can fly, again no success.  But after a recent Hanes commercial, I have lost some respect, if not all, for this man.  First, watch it for yourself….

So you might be thinking to yourself, why have you lost respect for arguably the greatest player ever to wear a Bulls /(Wizards – I care to block this part of his career from my mind) jersey?  And here is my answer….

Charlie Sheen: “Do you like korean bbq?”

Michael Jordan: “uh….no”

WHAT A BASTARD! How does MJ not enjoy Korean bbq???~~!!!  Korean bbq is one of the joys of my life. Kalbi, boolgogi, saam-gyup-saal, and cha-dol-beh-gee on the hot grill of charcoal is my type of dinner.  Let me analogize what MJ has done to my psyche after seeing the commercial, he basically dunked on me and left his mushroom tattoo all over my already dirty sweaty face.  Consequently leaving me disgraced and in misery.  This has to be the worst thing to hear from the man I’ve idolized for so long.  I’ve grown up with Korean BBQ as being an intermediary amongst friends and family, and MJ has demolished what has been so sacred to me.  MJ has brought shame to the Korean community (obviously being a over-dramatic)  But through this shocking part of my life, I have found a new model citizen to look up to….. CHARLIE SHEEN ….. I’ll get Korean bbq with you anytime CHARLIE!!!

Recently, I’ve talked to a select few of possible enlistment into one of the military branches.  From those few I conversed with, I received, “what the hell are you thinking?, i would have never envisioned you being in the military, your mom is going to kill you!”  I’ve been so enthralled in becoming a dentist since senior in High School and I know nothing else besides that.  To use an analogy, it’s like the movie Soldier, by the way a horrible movie starring Kurt Russell and I don’t recommend it to anyone, but it deals with a future military that trains babies from birth to become killing machines. The only thing these babies, future men, know is how to follow orders from their superiors and be these unemotional killers.  Back to reality.  My life has been all dental, dental, dental.  I don’t know any other career that I can pursue as a backup and it’s pretty scary.  I remember hearing so many stories before college about people that didn’t make it to their prospective profession, and at the time I just thought, well those people must have not worked hard.  Well that notion is definitely garbage.  They probably all worked their asses off but just never reached it, which is where I am.  If anyone knows any career that I can get into with a biology degree and a pre-professional masters, let a brotha know! BLLAAHHHH

Everyone who knows me, knows that I love shoes! Not just any kind of shoes but specifically Basketball shoes.  I remember my first pair of J’s (Air Jordans to those who don’t understand the vernacular), were the VI’s.  Size 2 with the old school Bulls red and white.  I was one of the few privileged children in my elementary school who had the honor of wearing them, thanks mostly to my Dad who sold Air Jordans back in the day.  I bet most of you are now thinking, oh so that’s where the shoe bingeing had started, but sadly you are wrong!

It kills me to write this b/c I’ve never told many people about this dark time of my life, it is a huge ego killer but here it goes.  During my eighth grade yr, I decided to join the Kahler Middle School football team.  A scrawny, short, Korean kid playing football, what a hilarious site right?! Well that was me.  All of my buddies joined and so I thought to myself this would be a great opportunity to display my athletic ability amongst my peers.  Hardly the case!  I failed to take into account how much taller, stronger, and athletic the guys were compared to me.  It was back then when I realized what the word athletic actually meant.  The word athletic doesn’t justify the actual definition, one has to see it to believe it.  But nevertheless I played 2nd string Free Safety and got a good share of minutes with 1.5 tackles for the season. One of those tackles coming from practice, the coolest tackle ever, and the half tackle from me jumping onto a pile during a kick-off return against our rival school. Pathetic I know!  You might be wondering why I’m talking about my 8th grade football career, and how a story of shoes turned into football?  It is b/c thus far I have failed to mention the cleats that made me the laughing stock for not only the football team but Kahler Middle School itself.

My dad gave me these all white, low-top, converse cleats that literally looked like golf shoes with football cleats under it, which he found in the storage from his store.  These shoes probably were sold sometime during the 70’s, there’s obviously a reason no one bought them, THEY”RE FREAKING HIDEOUS!  I had refused to wear such a monstrosity of a shoe, but my parents refused to buy me another pair of football cleats.  Plan B was to just wear my basketball shoes but Coach Denny said that I have to wear cleats in order to practice and play.  I whined again and again to my parents but they would not budge.  So against all my wishes, I wore these retro cleats and this started the endless laughter from my fellow teammates.  Everyone asked me why I had golf shoes.  Even the coaching staff had a field day with it, luckily the staff all liked me so it wasn’t getting exactly ridiculed by them but they still had their 2 cents.  It soon became a symbol of the Kahler Middle School football team, more like stigma, and because of these shoes my nickname had become White Korean, a total oxymoron but it made sense back then. As the season progressed the jokes and the laughter went away but the nickname still remained. UGH!  Eventually, students who attended football games started witnessing the white glow from my feet and this ladies and gentlemen started the demise of my pride.  Thankfully our team was so bad that year, that we didn’t reach the playoffs and the season had ended early.  A total opposite mentality you’re supposed to have playing a sport but this wasn’t about football anymore, it had become salvaging my dignity.  This tragic event, in my honest assessment, is the reason why I have such an infatuation of shoes.  

I intuitively swore that I would never be ridiculed for the shoes ever again and since that time I have not.  I ultimately blame my parents for the hell I had endured.  99% I take responsibility for things and will take the blame, but the devastation they put me through mutters no remorse from me.  Now my parents are in shock and awe of how many shoes I own and I tell them til this day, it is their fault.  (of course I receive a huge smack in the head and am told to refund the shoes but I gladly say NO!)  

To make a long story short, my high school and college careers consisted of Jordans, Doc Martens, Kobes, Hyperdunks, Pennys, Tmacs, Iversons, Lacoste, Converse (not the cleats), Vans, and etc.  Needless to say ….A LOT!  But like they say, all things must come to an end.  It saddens me to announce that I will be entering into retirement in my “sneakerhead” life.  On December 26th, the Countdown Package which consists of the Air Jordan XI and XII will be the last basketball shoe binge I will be making.  Even novice sneakerheads know that the Air Jordan XI is the mecca of shoes, the Alpha and Omega. (forgive me God).  Analogous to MJ ending his career as the greatest, I shall retire my “shoe game” by purchasing the greatest shoe ever to be put in production, and will lose $330 in the process…..SH!T!!!!!!!  

I would’ve put the picture of the XI and XII, but Nike still hasn’t confirmed the colors

For the past 3 weeks I have been doing nothing but studying and studying.  I think there’s honestly been only 2 days where I just took a break from studying to just be useless, what a wonderful feeling…worthlessness! AHH~  But joking aside, the time has just flown by.  People always say, “it’s better when you’re busy, you’re not wasting time.”  I’ve always said this to people in random conversations, but wasting my life in a library for 8-10 hours a day surely does feel a little ridunculous though. Sure I’m investing in my future here, I’m in the library now, to hopefully become successful but it sure feels like the rest of the world is just passing by doing cooler things without me.  I’ve been reading blogs lately and it seems like everyone is doing something new and exciting as I wallow away in my studies of how cartilage is used to make a callus after a fracture in the bone…..(nerdy, yes I know).  I think to myself all the time, what if I had gone to Peace Corps, done undergrad as a business major, seminary, what if I started playing golf earlier (haha), all these things just constantly bombard my mind.  But then again I realize God has put me in this position to be someone unique, and be on my own standard.  

I realized that Homecoming, in college, is just another excuse to get drunk for alumni and students alike.  During my undergrad years, I didn’t think much of HC, it seemed pointless!  Getting up at 6 am to go to a vacant field to drink beer wasn’t very appealing, but people get stoked about all the time.  It really does boggle my mind that people go out of their way by losing sleep, buy ridiculous amounts of beer and food, listen to raucous music, all at the break of dawn to root for their respective college football team. Craziness I think!  What drives me even more insane is that, my fellow alumni and students at IU are cheering for IU Football!!?? Are you kidding me? IU Football? There’s an IU Football team?  Ridunculous!  I just thought I would vent before a long night of studying…..BLAH

I just received all my exam scores back the other day and was it a slap in the FACE! SMACK! I’ve been complaining about being bored in Indy this whole time and during that time I must have forgotten what my main goal is here, STUDYING!  This always happens, I get myself into the gutter in the first exam and consequently have to study my arse off the rest of the semester to earn an A or high B.  UGH!!!! why do I do this to myself?  I blame it on youtube and facebook, if these internet sites didn’t exist, i’d be a dentist by now…damn Procrastinator sites!  I pretty much realized, after the smack in the face from my exam scores, that everyone else is working hard at their job to make money.  What I am essentially doing in school is making the potential to earn money in the future (elementary idea….YES I KNOW!!!).  But nonetheless I must destroy this program to get into dental school and then fix teeth from 11 -4 from Monday – Thursday and squeeze 18 holes of golf in at twilight.

I’ve recently gotten into this awkward phase in my life where I think everyone is plotting things against me, even people I don’t know.  (Paranoia? Yea probably.)  I really don’t know how or where this feeling arose from but I definitely believe it has something to do with being in Indy by myself and also b/c of my highly competitive classmates.  My colleagues, for the most part, are pretty dull and 1 dimensional, definitely are people I don’t associate with.  A select few have been open enough to studying together and offering assistance but alas they are two-faced and care only for their success.  It makes me wonder, who can I trust? who can I call a friend?  It’s a very perplexing idea to deal with b/c I pretty much grew up with the ideals of Christianity; lending a hand, fellowship, and love which are definitely not the ideas of graduate school.  Graduate school = let your fellow classmate suffer as you reek the benefits, smile accordingly if you did better than someone else on the exam, and making yourself more knowledgeable in front of professors.  In essence, I just have to change my way of life and just live by 2pac’s creed, Me Against the World.

 

 

Was I whining?….Yea

I have 3 exams coming up this week and I just haven’t had the drive to sit and study. I’m constantly looking for pointless things to do so I don’t have to study, yet the frustrating part is that I KNOW I should be studying. It’s gotten to the point where if I’m studying and I don’t understand something, I take, what should be a 5 minute break, an hour long excursion on Youtube watching old Kobe Bryant highlights! Pathetic I know! Somebody study with me or give me the rebuking of a life time…uh back to study…procrastinating